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Don’t judge me

Paulie 069

Paulie 069

So reef peeps I have a story to tell you see a lot of people think that the professional wrestling business is a good time fun job with lots of partying going on.Well nothing can be further than the truth,, Do you see when you get hurt they pump you full of pills and tell you you’ll feel better in an hour and get out there and do your show kind of like dance monkey dance ,but what they don’t tell you is that you’re going to develop an addiction to the opioids they have been feeding you, starts off slow, First comes the Vicodin then Percocet and then comes the oxycodone 15 mg after that they bump you the 30 mg we used to call them greens or blues and then when they don’t work anymore bebop you up to Oxycontin 10mg -20-30mg all the way up to 60 and then when that doesn’t work all the sudden they give you a bottle of morphine and a bunch of needles and just tell you to hit yourself when you need it and before you know it you are a full-fledged addicted opioid person but let me tell you you do not want to be in that position I honestly used to have a bowl filled with pills ,,it kind of look like a jellybean decoration When I decided to retire from wrestling the pain didn’t retire with me I spent 18 years doing stuff to myself that normal people would not even be able to do it himself for a day,, But when I decided to go back to fishing and become a captain and run a boat I decided it was time to quit doing opioids that was in 2012 and I have not touched an opioid sense but the medication they put me on to keep me away from the opioids has a far worse with drawl to it and I’m going through it now,, My pain management doctor retired and I procrastinated on finding a new one so now I am in the process of trying to find one and in the meantime I have not been able to get out of bed going on my fourth today, I haven’t seen my tank in two days I have no idea what’s going on with it my daughter has been taking care of it for me and he’s been telling me everything is OK
I really don’t know why I’m even telling this story The worst part about this whole thing is how horribly or weak I feel couldn’t even pick the pillow up off the floor that fell,, Some say I should blame the doctors but there’s really nobody else to blame but myself because nobody really forces you to do it but they kind of make it apparent that if you don’t you’re not gonna have your wrestling job for very long and I was not ready to walk away from it anyway my receipts I hope maybe somebody out there can learn something from my experience and would make the right choices and go to the other way
So now I’m paying my price I feel like the worst father and husband at this moment because my kids keep asking me what’s wrong with dad how come he’s been in bed for 4 days crying
There is a light at end of the tunnel my old doctor got me hooked up with new doctor and hopefully I’ll be able to see him soon and get back to living life without all this pain
Thanks for letting me be able to be open n honest with this group of reef peeps
Thinking of all you
 
Romanhawk

Romanhawk

1. Kudos to you for telling your story. I’m new here, but this seems a supportive group. I encourage you to continue to speak your mind to whatever positive sources you are lucky to have in your life. I‘m no therapist, but I think we all heal by sharing how we feel.
2. In regards to your request to not be judged, I’d like to think this is a judgement-free zone. Anyone who would judge your story frankly isn’t worth your time anyway.
3. All of the above is just my opinion. Now here’s a fact: Your status as a father hasn’t been compromised by these past 4 days. As a parent of 3, I’m always evaluating my performance as a father. (Husband too). We can’t help it. But I can guarantee that these effects do not define your status in this matter. Fact.
4. I wish you a speedy recovery. We haven’t met but you seem to be a really cool guy.
 
Paulie 069

Paulie 069

Romanhawk said:
1. Kudos to you for telling your story. I’m new here, but this seems a supportive group. I encourage you to continue to speak your mind to whatever positive sources you are lucky to have in your life. I‘m no therapist, but I think we all heal by sharing how we feel.
2. In regards to your request to not be judged, I’d like to think this is a judgement-free zone. Anyone who would judge your story frankly isn’t worth your time anyway.
3. All of the above is just my opinion. Now here’s a fact: Your status as a father hasn’t been compromised by these past 4 days. As a parent of 3, I’m always evaluating my performance as a father. (Husband too). We can’t help it. But I can guarantee that these effects do not define your status in this matter. Fact.
4. I wish you a speedy recovery. We haven’t met but you seem to be a really cool guy.
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Thank you, thank you all it’s nice knowing that I’m in a safe zone here on njrc,, hopefully I’ll be able to see new doctor this week, One thing for sure is I’m gonna be hurting on fishing boat tomorrow. But I have to work
Much love reef peeps
 
Salted

Salted

NJRC Member
I hope the new Dr works out for you. My mom has been going through this with back issues so I see it first hand regularly. Staying positive and focusing on moving forward will be a big help. I'm sure that having a job the you like will be helpful too. Don't for a second think that a few days of issues will hurt your relationship with your kids. Sounds like they're old enough to understand that the medical issues you have were part of the price we pay to keep a roof over our kids' heads and food on the table for them. They won't hold it against you. Tanks are secondary but even being new here I see and am sure that if you needed a hand you'd barely have to ask and there'd be a line at your door so don't hesitate. I know my schedule would let me come down and lend a hand so just ask. Maybe a little njreefers mini meet would help you perk up a little. Let us know.
 
Paulie 069

Paulie 069

Salted said:
I hope the new Dr works out for you. My mom has been going through this with back issues so I see it first hand regularly. Staying positive and focusing on moving forward will be a big help. I'm sure that having a job the you like will be helpful too. Don't for a second think that a few days of issues will hurt your relationship with your kids. Sounds like they're old enough to understand that the medical issues you have were part of the price we pay to keep a roof over our kids' heads and food on the table for them. They won't hold it against you. Tanks are secondary but even being new here I see and am sure that if you needed a hand you'd barely have to ask and there'd be a line at your door so don't hesitate. I know my schedule would let me come down and lend a hand so just ask. Maybe a little njreefers mini meet would help you perk up a little. Let us know.
Click to expand...
Thank you brother,, just reading all these positive post and felling the love n support from the group has me felling a little better, actually made it to the shower today (wife said I was getting ripe) lol
Thank all of you my reef peeps for the love it means a lot to me/ much love my peeps
 
reefsandrotts

reefsandrotts

NJRC Member
I could never get into watching that stuff but have many froends that did. My father in law did the photos for Tito Santana's wedding.
Did you have a stage name?
 
Mark_C

Mark_C

Staff member
Officer Emeritus
NJRC Member
Moderator
Thoughts my friend. Pain management does well if done correctly. If its back or limb pain a DO or DC can help, if its specifically low back discuss a spinal stimulator with your doc. If its general aches and pains, there's a lot of non-opoid stuff out there at the moment that's pretty potent (Tramadol for instance). Theres also the ability to get a medical marijuana card ;):p.
Regardless, as hard as it is keep moving. When we stop moving we start dying. Lemme know if you need anything.
 
Paulie 069

Paulie 069

Mark_C said:
Thoughts my friend. Pain management does well if done correctly. If its back or limb pain a DO or DC can help, if its specifically low back discuss a spinal stimulator with your doc. If its general aches and pains, there's a lot of non-opoid stuff out there at the moment that's pretty potent (Tramadol for instance). Theres also the ability to get a medical marijuana card ;):p.
Regardless, as hard as it is keep moving. When we stop moving we start dying. Lemme know if you need anything.
Click to expand...
This is how I looked 3-4 days a week for 18 years
 

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Rossim2i2

Rossim2i2

Damn man. Wasn’t expecting that when I opened the post. I know a little about addiction. Sober for 14 years now. Hang in there. Things will get better. Best of luck with the new doctor. My mother recently had nerves on her spine burned off for pain relief. Back pain is no joke. Let us know if you need anything!
 
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