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Can't do this anymore

This will be a tribute to my beloved Quincy, and I honestly can't do this anymore. I can't say goodbye to my pets anymore. It is getting harder each and every time, and with Quincy it came just much too unexpected, and definitely much too quickly.

Quincy was only 6 years old. A baby in the Amazon parrot world, as they are known to live over 70 years. He was a gift from my best friend, who was going through a very difficult time in her life 6 years ago. Quincy was just 12 weeks when I brought him home, and it was love at first sight.

I did have another Amazon at the time, Hunter, now a 10 year old GORGEOUS yellow-nape female. Quincy must have fallen in love with her immediately because when he became flighted, his first stop was on top of Hunter's cage. There he sat, looked down on her and said (in human language): "Hi, wanna come out?"

Well, it took Hunter 3 years to fall in love with him, but once she did, they became inseparable. They shared one cage, an enormous thing of a cage, I should add. They preened each other, played together, fed each other, but never lost their bond with me. Yes, Quincy could be quite ornery at times, but he was never vicious.

1 week ago I noticed something wasn't quite right with him, so I scheduled an appointment the very same day. To make a very long story a bit shorter, the vet "suspected" it was his liver. Blood was drawn, and 60ml (!!!) of fluid was taken from his lower abdomen. I was sent home with 2 different medicines, and was promised to get the blood results the next morning.

Quincy died in my arms on September 24th at 2:20AM. I was woken up that night due to a thunderstorm and heavy rains, and asked Alex to help me shut the windows really quick. When I went downstairs I saw Quincy was on the bottom of the cage. I thought he was gone already and let out a scream. When I opened the cage and tried to pick him up, he felt coldish. Then his head turned and he gave me a nasty bite on my thumb. I then gently put him on a towel, turned on more lights, lifted him up, and sat on the couch with him. He slowly began to relax. I was petting him, scratching his neck and head, and he ever so softly started talking to me. He looked right up at me, his eyes open wide. Then he began to grind his beak, slowly closing his eyes a little. (For anyone unfamiliar with bird behavior, birds only grind their beak when they are really content.) And then he rested his head in my hand, the grinding stopped, and Quincy was gone.

It all happened much too fast. I still seem to be unable to get a grip over this. Oh yes, I finally got the blood result days later. It was his liver. And it is suspected to have been hereditary. It was not diet related, it was not any sort of poison, or environmental. But I refuse to dig him up and have a necropsy done.

So now I have Hunter. Sure, she is lonely - more so without him than I. But I miss him. I miss him each and every day. The house is just not the same without him. And I am grieving - again.

And I remember this: "It is better to have lost and loved than to have never loved at all."

Perhaps in time I will find comfort in that old saying. For the time being my heart is broken.

I miss you Quincy. And I love you! This is for you, my buddy.

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For all of you who read through all of this - THANK YOU.
 
OMG. I'm so sorry... We lost out dachsie a couple months ago. Hit by a car. She never could resist people on bicycles.. It all happened so fast Nina didn't have time to stop her, Jorja just darted after the kids on the bikes, and bam. She died in Nina's arms. That dog went everywhere with us. She was Nina's dog before I met her, but she became my best friend very quickly. I was the only one she would "die" for when I pointed my finger like a gun and said "BANG"...

I miss her terrible... And I feel the pain of your loss...
 
Wendy,
I am so sorry for you loss. As a fellow bird person, I know how devastating it can be when we lose one of our feathered family members, even more so when we lose them unexpectedly.
You, Hunter and Quincy are in my thoughts and prayers.
Nikki
 

Tazmaniancowboy

Officer Emeritus
Officer Emeritus
Wow Wendy, EXTREMELY sorry to hear this. I love birds, but with my kids I have no time to give. I did have cockatiel that passed and a parakeet that I just got started to talk and become tame when I was younger and it accidentally got out of the cage and out the front door when we had a visitor one day. I spent a couple hours and then days looking for it. Amazing that we get so attached. Luckily I haven't had to deal with that feeling in a long time.

I felt your pain with you the whole time I was reading your post. Sorry and hang in there.

Taz
 

Phyl

Officer Emeritus
Officer Emeritus
Wendy, such a beautiful bird and so heartfelt a post. I cried with you. I know you're in terrible pain now, but I can only hope that the pain and tears are replaced by smiles as you remember the good times you had with so special a friend. I imagine that Hunter will be heartbroken for a while too. Hang in there.
 
Wendy

I know I said it at MACNA, but again, very sorry to hear of your loss. It's been just over a year and half since loosing our family dog and it is still a very tender spot for the entire family. It takes time.
 
Thank you very, very much all for the kind words. Believe it or not, it's still very hard to talk about Quincy. He's on my mind 24/7, and I try and stay as busy as possible, but at the same time I have to spend a LOT of time with Hunter now. Every time she calls him (by his name) or imitates one of his sounds, my heart just sinks. She's been spending a lot of time out of her cage these days. Actually she's out all the time when I'm home. Either on the play gym or on the table stand. Been exercising her, bathing her, cuddling her and spoiling her rotten. She LOVES to sing and dance, so I pop in some of her favorite music. Of course I used to be able to sing and dance with 2 Amazons at the same time, so I feel the loss there, too.

....and I continue to wonder if he could have been saved.....somehow. But I'll never know.
 

Brian

Officer Emeritus
Officer Emeritus
I know exactly how you feel Wendy, it was the same when we lost our dog Cosmo...so sudden and young. Just try and think about the great life you gave Quincy. If you guys didn't adopt him who knows the kind of life he might have had. I'm sure for the 7 years that you had him he lived like a king! Try and remember the good times with him, and you know that over time you all will be able to adjust.

We all need to sit down and have a toast to all of our past feathered/furry friends!
 
My deepest condolences on your loss. Pets bring so much joy to our world without hardly even trying. Just remember all the good times always outweigh the pain of loss.
 
OMG i am SO sorry my family own 18 birds and its a devestating day when one gets sick let alone dies I have three that love the Bajeesus out of me and I could not wonder what I would do if something happened to them. your "fid" was a cutie. Sorry again, Bobb
 
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