Tank birthday and I'm a Geezer

[Paul B]

My power went out 5:00 this morning and I had to get the key to disconnect the cable to open the door. I decided to test my car battery jumper on it.

I just plugged my garage door motor into this battery jumper and all is well. The thing stays plugged in the wall anyway and if I need it, I just plug the door motor into the outlet on the wall.
This thing may even be cheaper than a UPS system that needs to put out at least 500 watts.

Now I can open my garage in a blackout and I have emergency lights all over the place so I can see what I'm doing.

 

[Paul B]

I will have to spend one night in the hospital but even though I asked, they wouldn't let me pick out the nurses. They actually drew straws to see who will not take care of me.

After 38 surgeries, many of the nurses that took care of me for my first surgery in the 60s are all great grandmothers now. But I still like them because they are all still a lot younger than I am and maybe some of them have a fish tank.

I had to drive 50 miles today to the hospital for them to give me a sling. There was a huge accident on the highway so it took me a half an hour longer. I walked in and they handed me a sling in a plastic bag.

I said, Like Duh! Couldn't you just give me this on one of the other 4 visits I have to make to come here just so the doctors, insurance and lawyers can get paid? It's just so stupid. As I said, I had so many shoulder surgeries that I could do it myself if I could stand my screaming.

If we could eliminate the lawyers this would be so much more simple, cheap and un-stupid.

 

[Paul B]

Tonight we had a little disaster but living with someone with MS this happens all the time and it could have been much worse. My wife was cooking, and she had some goopy thing in the microwave and was heating it up. It was very watery. We were having friends over for dinner.

I worked all day putting patio furniture away and doing things that I won't be able to do after my surgery next week so she didn't want to bother me. She took the casserole dish out of the microwave that is up high and poured it all over her face. She didn't burn her eyes, thank God, but now looks to have a tan.

It was very painful, so she kept putting cold water on her face. Of course, I ran out to help her.
After hitting her face, the rest of the liquid went on the stove and shorted out the console, so the thing said :
"Call for service". But I fixed that. She is much better now, but she is not very happy. MS makes her right hand and right leg numb so she can't tell how tight she is holding something.

This new shoulder surgery is going to be a real challenge, mostly for her, and it is a little frightening.

 

[reefsandrotts]

So sorry paul,I can only imagine how scary it was

 

[Paul B]

Yesterday, before that disaster my wife was shopping so I took her as I always do. I normally bring a book when she food shops because it takes her an hour and I shop like a Man so it would only take me 3 maybe 4 minutes.

While there, I finished my book so I went next door to Petco. I want to change water once before the surgery because I won't be able to do it for a couple of months and I needed salt. While there I saw this fish.

It's a fairly common fish so I asked the guy what it was. He didn't know. So I asked him how much it cost. He had no idea even though he was working in the fish dept. He called over the manager and asked her who also had no idea, so I said, what if I give you twenty bucks for the fish. Sold.

In 15 minutes, it was happily swimming in my tank. I have had these before and I probably could have gotten it from my guy for eight bucks, but I felt sorry for the little fella.

 

[MadReefer]

Petco by me has them all the time and think they go for $30 and labeled as Striped blenny. Nice price.

 

[Paul B]

That fish is a Poison fanged bleeny or Stripped Bleeny. I got him for $20.00 so it is fine.

 

[Paul B]

The stupid Fang Tooth Bleeny, or wrasse, whatever it is, is doing great and hasn't bitten me yet.

I changed the water yesterday because I know I won't be able to do it for a few months.
I just got back from a mandatory shoulder replacement class. I don't know why I had to go because I will be asleep. The surgeon should have gone.

Now I have to go to the second pre-surgery physical. You would think I was getting a new head with all the stupid nonsense they put you through for a simple shoulder replacement.

 

[Paul B]

Thank God I have great friends. So far, 6 people have offered to take me to the hospital on Tuesday. I will be staying overnight to make sure they didn't put my arm on backwards. To check that, they make you play a game of pickleball just outside the OR before they allow you to go home.

I also found out from my MRI that I have this stupid disease called Pseudogout, or Chondrocalcinosis, which I never heard of, but it usually attacks really good-looking Manly Men over 65. It is a type of arthritis where calcium particles accumulate in the synovial fluid between the bones of your joints. The calcium bunches up like gravel and causes pain along with probably hair loss. The treatment is joint replacement.

They don't have a clue what causes it, but it happens much more in joints that have had Trauma or surgeries. I have had about 8 or 9 shoulder surgeries, and I don't remember how many knee and finger surgeries, but this will be my 39th surgery so I am loaded with the stuff.

It could also come from my reverse undergravel filter.

 

[Paul B]

A few days ago, I went for my second, stupid Pre-Surgery physical. They said they would send the report to the hospital 2 days ago. I didn't hear from anyone, and the surgery is tomorrow, and without that form, they will cancel the surgery for 2 months.

I called them this morning to ask if they sent the form to the hospital. They said, "They didn't know".

I said, " What do you mean, you don't know?" She said, there are a lot of doctors here, so I don't know.

I said, This is the name of the doctor. She said she didn't know how to look that up.

Like, is it me? Is this a difficult question for someone who I assume went to high school and works in a doctor's office?

So, I called the hospital, and you know if you ever called a hospital, they have 793 different extensions, and you have to go through all of them to find out which one does two things. One is speaking English, and the other thing is that she knows what you are talking about.

 

[MadReefer]

Paul, so much for technology - right. Sadly, that's my field but new systems and lack of training how to find things causes these type of issues.
I will be the first to say We need to go old school with paper forms and phone calls. Technology really isn't making things easier IMO.

 

[Paul B]

MadReefer, I write everything in a spiral notebook and always have. It is always there and never crashes.
I have 3 Alexa's. Today none of them would work but the Alexa app says they are all working. I hate new technology because it takes more time than it used to and it always crashes and makes people stupid and lazy. I get very aggravated and it tweak's my PTSD.

They used to have people to answer the phones. Charge me more if you want but answer the phone.
I once called the VA (Veterans Administration) After being on hold for 45 minutes and listening to the voice that says, "Your call is important to us so stay on the line" 47 times. I got another recording that said. "The office is now closed so there is no one to answer your call".

They should have led with that.

 

[diana a]

Prayers that your surgery went well!

 

[Paul B]

sorry guys. cant type with left arm, right arm was sent out for repair and it wrote to me to say it wasnt doing too good. pain pills still making me stupiod

 

[reefsandrotts]

sorry guys. cant type with left arm, right arm was sent out for repair and it wrote to me to say it wasnt doing too good. pain pills still making me stupiod

Feel better soon

 

[Paul B]

thanks guys. our friend sue is taking care of me, and i need a lot of help, like for doing everything but most of all to help my wife

 

[Paul B]

they wouldnt let me keep the "poppon fresh" hat

 

[diana a]

You are so adorable! Feel better soon.

 

[Paul B]

i stopped taking oxy yesteday and now only on tylenol and vodka

friends are taking me out for breakfast in a few minutes. soon i will be able to comb my hair and in a few weeks, i should be able to type capitals

 

[Paul B]

This happened 3 years ago so i just added my new experiences at the end.

So yesterday I had my left shoulder replaced (I may make a lot of typos) I have to wear that sling that keeps my arm a few inches away from my body 24/7 even sleeping with it. I love that hospital and wish I could rent a weekend there.

I have no pain at all and am thinking of hitting it with a hammer to make sure he actually replaced it. He said I have so much arthritis in there that he couldn't fix it if he wanted to and my rotator cuff is shredded and must be in my neck somewhere, so he doesn't have to use it
The surgery was a piece of cake. As a matter of fact, 15 minutes into the operation I had a dream. At least I hope it was a dream. There was a big cake on my stomach and all the people in the operating room were singing Happy Birthday to the Rastafarian anesthesiologist as he was blowing out the candles with my oxygen tube.

The hospital is great but like most hospitals, you can't get any sleep. First of all because of something with the anesthesia, I had to pee all night every 15 minutes like clockwork. So to take me to the bathroom they had to disconnect the two IV bags they have going into my hand, (one of the bags was filled with natural seawater (I could tell because It had live amphipods in it) and the other was an antibiotic with Prizapro) Then unhook the tubes on my legs that inflate around my legs every 8 seconds one at a time. The motor that does that goes WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. So I asked for the pee container.
If a bubble goes through the tube to your hand it also has an alarm that just goes BEEP..BEEP...BEEP constantly.

When I decided to try to go to sleep at 2:00am I turned on the TV and was watching "The Greatest Storm" where George Clooney was the Capt. of a Sword fishing boat and was in a huge storm.

My bed had an alarm on it so when I got out of bed to either fall on the floor or jump out the window that goes BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-
BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep etc until I got back into bed.

If anyone on the floor pushes the emergency button for anything like they want a toothpick, pain killer or cat food the thing would ring outside my door. It would continuously go. Ding, ding, ding.........Ding, ding, ding.......Etc.

The nurses constantly take your temperature and blood pressure. The blood pressure machine goes brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr etc.

So last night went something like this. In the movie George Clooney is being thrown all around the boat as my legs are being inflated one at a time so I keep hearing: WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. As that is going on I hear blaring:
Doctor Kildare please come to the nurses station Stat.

Then my hips raise, WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH. My left leg inflates, WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. and I hear Ding,ding,ding. George Clooney is being thrown against the port side of the boat.

"DOCTOR KILDARE PLEASE COME TO THE NURSES STATION ". Ding, ding, ding.
Beep, Beep, Beep, My right leg raises WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH.

The bed also has inflators that randomly raise your head, hips and shoulders and the blower that makes that work sounds something like the inflator for the legs but it has a few less double you's and Hs.


Then my hips raise, WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH. My left leg inflates, WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. and I hear Ding,ding,ding. George Clooney is being thrown against the port side of the boat. "DOCTOR KILDARE PLEASE COME TO THE NURSES STATION ". Ding, ding, ding.
Beep, Beep, Beep, My right leg raises WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH.

The nurse comes in as a huge wave washes Clooney onto the starboard side of the boat

Nurse says: "My Christmas Birthday Baby Baldassano, I need to take your vitals". My left leg raises.

WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. ding,,ding,,ding
Open your mouth and stick out your arm for your pressure. brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr. I can tell she used the wrong thermometer by the taste

I got to pee. BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep

"KILLDARE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" The nurse gets called away, probably to look for Killdare and the pressure machine is still going up
brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr. The pressure is going up over 120 psi and it isn't stopping. My arm looks like a strand of linguini and wax is starting to shoot out of my ears right into my Jello.

WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. Ding, Ding, ding....Ding Ding, Ding. brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr. My head raises WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH.

Clooney gets impaled on the steering wheel...... "Kildare you Quack....Your Fired" I have to pee so I stand up because gravity helps.
BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep so I have to be fast. My right leg inflates as my hips raise
WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH .... WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH.
Beep ,,Beep Beep.
Clooney gets washed off the boat into the sea only to be torn apart by school of designer clownfish. Blood pressure machine is still going
brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr And the nurse is no where to be found. I have to pee. BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep

My left leg raises.
WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH.

I got to pee. BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep Ding,,Ding "HELP,,HELP, I have fallen and I can't get up".

WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH. Ding, Ding, ding....Ding Ding, Ding. brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr,brbrbrbrbrbrbrbr. My head raises WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH.

I have to pee.
BBBBBBBBBbbbbbeep-BBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbeep so I have to be fast. My right leg inflates as my hips raise
WWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHH...WWWWOOOOSSSHHHHH .... WWOOOOOSSSSHHH...WWOOOOSSSHH.
Beep ,,Beep Beep.

Then about 8:00am breakfast comes. You can't make this stuff up.

That was 3 years ago and this week i had my right shoulder replaced so the story was almost the same except for a couple of things that i will explain.

(no capitals or much punctuation because i have to type using only one finger on my left hand)

i get to the hospital at 5:30 am and they get me ready for the surgery.



I am naked except for this Tommy Hilfiger outfit with a matching hat. they wheel me up to my room and introduce me to these girl scouts.
they were actually nurses but about the same age as my granddaughter




After a while, I have to pee, so these two 12-year-old nurses come in to disconnect my leg pumps and 2 IVs. They walk me into the bathroom and lift my gown up to my armpits. (not to embarassing) Now I have to pee in a cup because they want to measure it.

This goes on for a few hours because the two IVs are constantly filling you with saline solution, which is seawater.

Then I have the surgery, and I assume that went well.
About an hour after I wake up, I hear this blood-curdling scream. GET THE H-LL AWAY FROM ME. DON'T TOUCH ME. GET AWAY. I HATE YOU. DON'T COME TO VISIT ME ANY MORE, etc. This screaming went on for 6 hours, and they had to restrain this woman, who was throwing things at the staff and hitting them.

About 2 hours after this starts, the claxon horns start blasting the loudest noise I have heard since Vietnam. Bright lights start flashing, and I hear sirens. The old woman is still screaming, and firemen come running through the halls carrying axes. i thought they were there to help quiet the woman.
They closed my door, and I figured some radical group was rioting in the hallway, but I think someone was smoking in the bathroom and set off the alarm.

Anyway, that was some of my new hospital stay. i will finish when i could type better.