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Erna, my heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how you and your family are feeling. I know each time we had kids and now each time our kids have kids I pray that the baby will be a healthy normal baby. Terry and i will be praying for your family and Madison fervently. Please keep us posted.
Re: new tank starting
A refugium is not necessary. Especially to start. You can always add one later
For sure good lighting (and that depends on what you want to keep)
A good protein skimmer - don't skimp on this item get the best you can afford.
You will likely want a sump of some type and...
Again no processing only a crop. This is the same polyps as picture in my first post. I think these adjustments are better. Not sure which is best. I prefer#3
I'm betting its the Alk. I had issues with corals bleaching from the bottom up. Read a post on RC which suggested low Alk. Raised my alk and have not had an issue since
Personally unless there was something unwanted on the rock that you wanted to get rid of i would not go through all of that. I would just cure in a separate container just like it was raw live rock. Plain and simple.
I do have a +/- button but when i press it and rotate the dial it changes the Fstop(i'm in M)
Phyl you need to add this matrix thing to your presintation ;)